7 things happy couples do every dayHouse of LUX HQ | 26 September 2016
Everyone wants to be that cute couple who still holds hands and looks lovingly at each other when they’re old. Learn the secrets to staying together happily ever after and apply them! Don’t forget to celebrate your love with a romantic LUX Soft Touch bubble bath.
1. Hug a lot
You’ve probably heard that hugging increases your level of the feel-good ‘bonding hormone’ oxytocin. Researchers also found that the power of hugs is so potent that it may help protect people from falling ill as a result of stress.
2. Say thank you
Gratitude is the glue that holds happy couples together. People who are more appreciative of their partners may be more responsive and committed to their relationships, according to studies. And it’s not just about saying thanks for doing the laundry, but feeling grateful for who your partner is and remembering why you first fell in love.
3. Turn towards each other
Pay more attention to your partners’ ‘bids’, says relationship expert and psychologist Dr John Gottman, These bids can be small, like asking for help with chores, or more important requests for emotional support, such as seeking comfort when dealing with stress or grief. By missing or rejecting bids, people turn away from their partners. In a study conducted with newlyweds over six years, Dr Gottman found that couples that turned towards each other 86 per cent of the time stayed together.
4. Spend time apart
Everyone needs their me time, and happy couples respect that. People are less bored when they each have their own interests, friends and time for self, says psychologist Dr Terri Orbuch. You’ll also be giving your partner “time to process their thoughts, pursue hobbies and relax without responsibilities to others”, she adds.
5. Fight fair
According to psychologist Dr Michelle Brody in her book Stop The Fight!, one thing happy couples do is identify and avoid destructive fighting patterns. To prevent conflicts from escalating, she suggests agreeing beforehand – when you’re both calm – on a plan that defines ‘lines not to cross’ and ‘weapons not to use’ in a fight. Expressing hurt feelings mid-fight instead of simply retaliating can also help slow down an argument.
6. Embrace the crazy and stupid
In an aptly titled book Women Are Crazy, Men Are Stupid, comedy writers and real-life happy couple Howard Morris and Jenny Lee make a compelling case for couples to understand – and accept – each other’s weaknesses and blind spots with good humour. This includes recognising that both parties have a part to play in any conflict.
7. Remember details about each other
According to psychologist Dr Kevin Arnold, people are “actually happiest when we reserve space in our heads for our partner”. This space can be filled with anniversary dates and favourite foods, and also things that have deeper significance for your partner. If you don’t know, ask; it shows that you care and want to know them better.